HaRav Gans is a R"M in Yeshivas Kol Torah and rav of the Mattersdorf neighborhood of Jerusalem.
This is the second in a series of articles and essays about tznius was first published in print in 1995, 29 years ago.
See also essay by HaRav Nissim Karelitz below.
For Part I of this series on Tznius click here.
For Part III of this series on Tznius click here.
We have heard about the pitfalls of fashion and makeup, and about the problems of long and unkempt wigs and short dresses. Let it be clear: We are not speaking about levels in sanctity, but about halacha. Just as we ask rabbis questions about the laws of Shabbos, Yom Kippur, blessings, milk and meat and monetary matters, so must we turn to them for guidance and instruction in matters of modesty.
What does the expression "overes al das Yehudis" (transgresses the Jewish faith) mean?
The Rambam explains: "[This refers to] one who behaves like non-Jewish women, whose purpose in dressing the way they do is not pure."
Without a doubt, the aim of the fashions which originate in gentile lands is to encourage immorality, under the guise of beauty.
While mistakenly being drawn after fashion, one can easily forget the hallmark of the Jewish woman. One can forget the meaning of "kol kvoda bas melech", the beauty of modesty, the charm of the purity and sanctity which characterizes the Jewish daughter.
One of the three qualities in which klal Yisrael excels and which typifies the Jewish daughter, is the trait of bashfulness. This symbol of the Jewish daughter is bashfulness, and all Jewish daughters are bashful in their inner essence. However, many of them are influenced by others and by their surroundings, and this is what causes them to exchange their true glory for the false glory of the street.
"R' Alexandri said: Our will is to do Yours, and what is preventing us from fulfilling it? [Our] enslavement to the nations, and the Evil Inclination." Enslavement to the nations, in our day and age? Yes! The gentiles control the world. A non-Jew devises something in Paris or New York, and immediately we are drawn after it, blindly.
By following the dictates of fashion, we are also violating the prohibition, "Do not place a stumbling block before the blind..." Unintentionally, a woman or girl goes outside wearing a conspicuous garment. Clothing attracts, and it causes others to stumble. A woman can be outside for half an hour — and violate the prohibition of "placing a stumbling block before the blind," hundreds of times. Then, when she appears before the Creator of the Universe, on the Day of Judgment, tens of thousands of sins will be on her scale of demerits.
Our illustrious rabbis have told us about the serious prohibition of immodest dress. We are not speaking about chumros, but about a prohibition from the Torah: "Do not stray after your eyes," which applies to both men and women.
We have also heard the words of the Zohar which says than an immodest mother brings about the ruin of her children and her husband, and causes her sons not to succeed in their learning. During my many years of experience in the yeshiva, I noticed, more than once, that certain students were not succeeding, even though they had the potential to grow in Torah and yiras shomayim. They were talented. They had good qualities. What was wrong?
However, when we encountered their mothers, our question was answered. We saw their manner of dress and realized that it was the cause of their sons' failure. Afterwards, we wonder why many students drop out of yeshiva.
Kimchis merited that all of her sons became high priests, because the walls of her house had never seen her hair. The mother of the Chazon Ish also attributed the greatness of her son to her modesty.
It is important to stress that a woman is definitely permitted to dress herself to please her husband. But this applies only within her home. Kol kvoda bas melech pnima, and there "her raiment is of chequer work in wrought with gold" (Tehillim 45:14). There a G-d-fearing woman does her husband's will. There, she is cherished by her husband. it is important to know that within one's home she should adorn herself.
However, today, we have switched the street and the home. Instead of dressing nicely inside, a woman dresses well in the street, and carelessly in her home. But if such is the case, it is no wonder that there are so many instances of marital strife.
A G-d-fearing woman does the will of her husband. But such a woman can also persuade her husband not to demand that she dress extravagantly outside her home. I know of many husbands who did not know the simple halacha. But when they learned it, they transformed their entire households.
Books on the laws of modesty are often sold at classes for women, and it is very worthwhile to purchase them. One should try and study two laws a day, in order to see whether she is practicing them or not. There are hundreds of groups for the study of shemiras halashon, and many other steady classes, and it is important to study a few laws of modesty at each class.
We are speaking, in particular, about clothing which is conspicuous in its color or brazen in its style, and about slits in skirts or dresses or about material which is too transparent. We are also referring to the use of too much makeup, especially eye makeup, and to long wigs or wigs which are immodest in their color and style. The reason many women wear such garments is because they feel inferior to the street. But these feelings must be uprooted.
Saleswomen are convincing. Wig stylists are persuasive. But the Jewish woman must be strong, and must not be influenced by them.
A bride can waste her wedding day — her personal Yom Kippur which falls only once in a lifetime — on makeup and clothing, and squander the opportunity offered by this sacred and great day on which all of her sins are forgiven.
Let us return once more to appreciating true values, and to understanding the function of "bas melech pnima", through which one achieves true happiness.
"Hatznea leches" — "walk humbly" — is a very broad concept has many ramifications beyond dressing modestly. It includes, not bringing indecent newspapers or literature into our homes. Michah the prophet based our faith on three foundations: "...Only to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your G-d" (Michah 6:8). "Walking humbly" then, constitutes a third of the Torah.
There are so many aspects of the Jewish home which require modest behavior. "How can a television and a video reside in the same home with a mezuzoh?" cried our rabbis. In such a home there is no inner core of spirituality.
Today, there is even a lack of modesty where women work, and this creates many stumbling blocks. Women begin to talk with male workers, and this can lead to other improprieties. Of course, there are times when one must speak with one's male co-workers, But these discussions should be limited only to matters which pertain to one's work, and must not go beyond that point. Surely one must not call co-workers by their first names, or by names which indicate friendship or fondness.
We also advise unmarried girls to discuss things with their mothers. When it is impossible to speak with one's mother, a teacher, or the wife of a rabbi should be consulted. Friends who are not equipped to deal with problems and questions of that sort, should not be approached in such matters.
Mothers must relate to their daughters with love and understanding, and should not evade their responsibility when they are needed. The mother-daughter relationship should not be based on, "Don't interfere in my affairs and I will not interfere in yours." A lack of love causes children to search for it elsewhere.
The mother must serve as an example for her children, in her pursuit of spiritual attainments, instead of outer glitter. A mother's time can be filled with true content — with acts of chessed and with helping others — mitzvos which grant one true fulfillment and satisfaction. One can also devote time to helping baalei teshuva, and to guiding them. When such things are important for the mother of the household, her children will imbibe true values.
And above all, as our great rabbis have said, one must not forget that there is a Creator. We must repeat to ourselves and to our children, that there is a Creator, and that we have mitzvos, and that Hashem wants us to fulfill them. When we do this, the Shechina will rest in our homes, and we will spared from calamities and woes, and will merit genuine happiness.
May the verses, "You shall be unto Me priestly and a holy nation" (Shemos 4:22) and "you shall sanctify yourselves and you shall be holy" (Vayikra11:45) be fulfilled through us.
Tznius Series Part 2: Behavior Reveals the Heart
by HaRav Nissim Karelitz zt"l
It is written: "The light of the righteous will rejoice, and the candle of the wicked will be put out" (Mishlei 13:9). This verse speaks about two kinds of lifestyles — a life of light and a life of the candle.
The candle is something which gradually wanes. Light is an independent factor, which illuminates.
Even if the wicked sometimes merit good things, nevertheless their lives are mere candles whose span is constantly diminishing. The candle glows for a specific period of time too. With each passing moment, it grows dimmer.
In contrast, the light which is the life of the tzaddik is an eternal one.
However this verse mentions an additional factor, that of simcha — happiness — the true happiness of man's soul, genuine satisfaction. This can be only be achieved by the tzaddik, as is written: "The light of the righteous will rejoice." The candle of the wicked is far removed from such happiness. This candle is only temporal, and in the end, nothing remains of it.
Rambam says: "Man is by nature, drawn, in his opinions and deeds, after his friends and acquaintances. He is attracted by what he sees in others — and behaves like them. As a result, one should associate with the righteous so that he will learn from their deeds, and should distance himself from the wicked, who walk in the dark, so that he will not learn from their ways."
It is natural for man from the time of his infancy until old age, to imitate others. This tendency is actually a G-d given capacity, which one may use positively or negatively, according to his free choice.
From where does it all begin? A person looks around and has to decide: what is good, who should be imitated, what should be studied.
This is what the Rambam meant: A person should always be concerned about himself, and about his natural tendency to be influenced by what he sees. As a result, he should distance himself from negative elements, and should do all in his power to move in positive settings, where he only sees good behavior.
However, in every circumstance in which one finds himself, one must be cautious and know which influences he should absorb, and which he should shun and flee. Every element one encounters must be examined. Even something which seems positive and beneficial, must be scrutinized lest it belongs to the category of "the candle of the wicked."
The wicked person's candle shines for him, but it is short lived. Perhaps it is really not light at all, but absolute darkness. This, too, must be ascertained!
Chazal praise the virtue of modesty. There are many levels of modesty, some so high that only a few have merited to reach them. However, there are explicit laws in the Shulchan Oruch which obligate us all and which one may not violate. Those who violate the explicit laws of modesty are the worst and the lowest types of people.
If modesty is so great a virtue, and those who are particularly cautious about its observance reach very high levels, then surely those who behave immodestly, revealing that which must be hidden, are depraved.
It is important to know: There are people who think that modest dress is only an external matter, and only pertains to one's outward appearance. However, this is not so.
Modest behavior reveals one's essence. Every flaw in one's modesty is like a declaration: See how foolish I am, how imperfect my heart.
One cannot say, "My behavior is bad, but my heart is good," because the heart is what impels one's deeds, and one's deeds reveal his heart.
The fact that a person is drawn after what appeals to him or her externally, indicates that he belongs to the category of "the candle of the wicked" or even worse than this. How is one not ashamed to show everyone that his heart contains negative and depraved elements?
Every infraction of the laws of modesty, every immodest act one commits, reveals the inner essence to all. It is as if one is telling the world by the way he or she dresses: "See how foolish I am, how coarse my heart."
This is the truth of the matter, and one must view the issue of modesty from such a vantage point. If we internalize these ideas, it will not be difficult or even a trial to observe the laws of modesty. Instead, we will be like the righteous who not only perform acts of piety, but also feel joy and satisfaction as a result.
May the benefits of this short discussion take effect, and may the words we have said tonight, penetrate the hearts of our listeners, and cause us to recognize the value of modesty and how bad is the opposite behavior, and may we all merit a true and permanent happiness.
HaRav Nissim Karelitz was Gavad of Ramat Aharon and rosh Kollel Chazon Ish
